Remember

Tomorrow is Dominic's 8th birthday. April 16th. Two times eight is sixteen. April is the fourth month. Dominic is our fourth child. We have eight children. Two of them died. September 8th. Eight divided by two is four.

Each night we say prayer together as a family. We still pray to a God. Sometimes I don't know who He is. Sometimes I only hope there is someone really listening. Sometimes I don't even believe. But each night we say our prayer together as a family.

Some of our children have prayed the same thing over and over again. For years, it had been, "Our Father in Heaven, please help us remember Dominic." But then, they added, "Our Father in Heaven, please help us to remember Dominic and Bridget." Before I say my amen, I quickly amend their words in my mind: "Our Father in Heaven, please help others to remember Dominic and Bridget."

I know I will never forget them. Never. I hope my children will always remember them, too. There are things about their brief time with us that have faded. So many memories that are so dull and difficult to recall. Some have been buried in these years that have past. But I still remember Dominic and Bridget.

Two people who came to Dominic's funeral share his birthday. One of them even spoke at his funeral. I will remember their birthdays. I don't know if they'll remember his. But it is my prayer, sincere prayer, that they and the rest of the world will remember.

My mother called today. She didn't remember that July 18th is Bridget's birthday. I don't know if she remembered that tomorrow is Dominic's birthday, so I reminded her just in case. And then she asked if she should call tomorrow. I told her, "it would be nice if Dominic would be remembered." I don't forget that he died. I will always remember. Why would anyone think that they shouldn't talk about him, especially on his birthday? Why would they wish not to remember?

I wonder if this year my prayers will be in vain. Will others remember? "Our Father in Heaven, please help others to remember Dominic and Bridget."

Compassionate Friends is an organization offering support after a child dies. After Dominic died, so many people would ask, "How can I help? What can I do?" Sometimes I didn't have a reply. I found Compassionate Friends, and they had articulated the answers: "How Can I Help." After Bridget died, I shared this list with others in hopes they would remember her. Remember us. And there on the list, is remember.

Remember the family on important days such as the child’s birthday and death anniversaries. Send a card, call, or visit. Let them know you remember, too.

I have a son. His name is Dominic Angelo. He was born on Monday, April 16th, 2001. Tomorrow he would be turning eight years old. But he died. And I remember.