Job's Apprentice: Small

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Small

...simple acts of service can help us and those we are permitted to influence. Our Heavenly Father places loving individuals on important crossroads to help us so that we are not left alone to grope in the dark. ...Serving others need not come from spectacular events. Often it is the simple daily act that gives comfort, uplifts, encourages, sustains, and brings a smile to others. (Michael J. Teh, “Out of Small Things,” Ensign, Nov 2007, 35–37)

Bridget's birthday is on Saturday- she would have been turning two. I have a hard time with what was supposed to be a celebration of life being a reminder that she is not here. But I want to do something for her. She was just so small, and some may not think that she had much influence. How could something so small be important? Just after she died, a Conference address was given called "Out of Small Things," quoted above.

The words spoken then have been in my mind frequently since that time. I wonder how many of you would be willing to give her a gift. This week, find some small way to show service to someone IN your life. Do something WITH someone who needs you. Find someone in your day-to-day associations WITH each other. Please, no big fanfare! Think of Bridget, how very SMALL she was. Make your acts small, yet profound-just like she was! Then come back and let me know how you gave "Out of Small Things."

If you'd rather keep your service private, that is fine, too. Just DO something. And if you would, please remember Bridget when you do it. This is just meant as way to share how Bridget influenced you and give her a special kind of gift for her birthday. I really do understand if you might want to keep your acts private, so while I'd love to hear about your experience, the main thing is to just do some small thing-- which will have a much greater influence than you might ever know.

4 comments:

hoLLy said...: i will DEFINITELY do that! and be thinking of bridget all week long. lots of love~; July 14, 2009 8:11 AM
Jan's Blog said...: Oh Plaid this is just inspired. I can see your loving heart more clearly than ever. As is often true, you have brought me to tears. Thank you so much for this assignment. I know people who do this often in their everyday life, but I'm afraid I often need to be reminded...and I thank you for that reminder. I'm already filled with an excitement at doing this in Bridget's name. I love to serve and yet I typically need guidance to know what to do. I worry about imposing on people. Plaid, I think you have knocked down that wall for me with this.

As Saturday approaches I hope you will be filled with the joy and wonder Bridget gave you when she was here. Fill your memories with the good times you had with her. Maybe remember what a wonderful mother you were to her, and that all she went through you were always there for her. Feel her love for you and how she trusted you and was comforted by your touch and your presence. Maybe bake a cake for her on Saturday and let everyone talk about her. Whatever you do dear Plaid, please take care of your heart.

Love to all, Jan; July 14, 2009 9:02 AM
Anne said...: Thinking of you today, and I will definitely perform a "small" service to honor Bridget's memory. Take care.; July 18, 2009 5:21 AM
Bridget said...: Today our town had its annual festival and we planned on going so I wasn't sure on what act of service I could do in Bridget's honor. This afternoon, we were sitting in the shade watching people and resting when one little girl lost her balloon. It was a regular balloon (not helium) and big and pink (maybe from a breast cancer booth?). So the wind carried it across the street and the mom told her that she should have held on to it better. I thought a moment and remembered Bridget and chased down that balloon.

So, for Bridget, one little girl was happy that she got her big pink balloon back. After I joined my family again, I was a little misty eyed. I was happy to remember Bridget today and remembered how happy I was when people sent my Evan balloons last month for his birthday.

Happy Birthday Bridget! And may God bless you and your family tonight.; July 18, 2009 9:49 PM

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In case you were wondering...

Two of our children went into sudden cardiac/pulmonary arrest. Both events occurred on Saturday, September 8th. However, Dominic's event was in 2001. Bridget's event was in 2007. Both were nursing at the left breast when their events occurred. Both were resuscitated and flown to the same Children's Hospital. Both later died from too much time without oxygen, resulting in too much damage to their brains and other organs. The cause of death for both is still not known.

Here is the post I wrote about Bridget's crisis event and death (so similar to Dominic's) which led me to start this blog.

Here is the story of our first Saturday, September 8th [link coming soon], that describes a little history and the crisis event that Dominic had that led to his death.

We believed that Dominic died from Infant Botulism. When Bridget had the same symptoms and then the same crisis event that Dominic had had, it was thought that Dominic died with botulism, but not from botulism. No one has yet been able to tell us what truly caused either Dominic's or Bridget's crisis events which led to their deaths.

We have since added another child to our family. I occasionally talk about her on the blog because she has had similar episodes to Bridget and Dominic, and has had a lot of testing without a lot of answers, but some interesting results that no one can explain. She has had several hospital stays.

Without really knowing the cause of death for Dominic and Bridget, it leaves a lot of room for the imagination with our living children (which there are six), especially because it is believed that there is an underlying genetic condition, likely a mitochondrial disorder, that we just have yet to be able to diagnose.

This blog is not a reflection on the happy times I had with Dominic and Bridget, which there were many. It is not a place for my gratitude, although I occasionally share some. It is meant to be an outlet, where some of the most difficult feelings from these experiences can find a place outside of me, so that I am not left to carry the full intensity of it.

Here is what I wrote in a post describing the intentions of this blog:

This blog was never intended to be anything except the receptacle for the difficulty that weighs on me because of the deaths of my two children. Because of all those similarities, the things that connect, but the disconnectedness of it all. It was meant to be my outlet. When I post here, I am more pointed about the kinds of things I bring up. Because it is intended to be where I spew the ugliness out, scream that primordial scream into the universe, the kinds of things most likely to come up in grief. And grief is not really a cheerful, uplifting, happy thing.

To put it another way, when I take my car to the mechanic for repairs, I don't spend my time telling him all the wonderful things I like about the car. I don't go into the details of all my other vehicles. I point out all the flaws and problems I am having and hope to get the repairs done as quickly and with as little expense as possible. When the mechanic is done, I focus on other things.

To those who stop by: Don't expect much of anything else. I think it would be good to keep that in perspective. You might get the wrong idea about people if you use only the posts on a blog like this to paint a picture of who they are. And yet, those things I post here are a part of who I am. So when you stop by, I appreciate that you have been gentle.

Job's Apprentice

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Small

4 comments:

About Me

In Memory of Bridget Lucille

In Memory of Dominic Angelo

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